Pointe Shoes and My Life:

Pointe Shoes and My Life:

            Pointe shoes and the molding of my life are one, and the same in numerous ways. Life has taken me on paths that I have only dreamed about as well as ones I have dreaded, nevertheless it is my path to tread. Pointe shoes and all, I have traveled so far.

            As I fold, iron, sow, and stretch the ribbons, a smile sneaks on my face. I place the elastic so delicately onto my new pointe shoes, and I cannot help but feel a sense of awe. The fresh smell of glue and the shimmer of the clean satin make my heart soar. I pay careful attention to the instructions, never missing a step as I prepare “my dream.” I cannot help but think, “Am I just as delicate with the choices that I make in life that shape who I am?” Once everything is set, I gather my padding placing them on my feet as if they were made of glass. I fall at first try, crashing to the ground with a disappointing grunt I then breathe slowly. Everyone has a choice to get up, no matter the cause of collapse.

            Initiation comes first, second a response is needed in order for the process to continue. There are paths set before each of us, “Where should I go to college,” “Who should I marry,” “What job should I choose,” “Where should I live” and so forth. We all have the choice to lead onward to the left, to the right and even continue straight. God has set before us His plans for our life and the decision lies in our hands whether or not we travel the road that surrenders growth, the path that connects us to the blessings God wants to lavish on us, and the fruit of our labor, which are the generations that walk after us. God initiated the art of dance to present itself in my life, and it was and continues to be my choice to respond to it. It is up to me! Therefore, I measured my foot, I wrote down the shape and type because I wanted the best fit. If I wanted Capezio but my foot proved too narrow I would get blisters. If I wanted Bloch but my foot lacked the curve that it required, I would break my ankle. I could purchase any one of those pointe shoes; it was up to me to find the one that fit my foot. All this time I hear these words from my mother ringing in my ear, “you are born to dance.” In other words, dance chose me! However, no one can force me to dance, I have the right to say yes or no to it.

As I molded my foot and shoe, both shifted in different directions causing a rift. The time spent, the sweat felt, and the pressure caused chiseled the edges off causing my form to adjust. As one matures and grows more into the person, they want or thought they should be they change. Each practice consisted of blood, sweat, tears as my foot molded my shoe, and my shoe remained steady. Life is similar, we all go through rough times; the trials form perseverance and with perseverance comes character. Beauty and form is the outcome of pointe work, flawless movements from agonizing strength hidden from the eye is the purpose. In life, we all strive to be smarter, healthier, and stronger but it all comes with a price. My commitment lies in my diligence to never give up, keep on fighting for the prize set before me. I remember those moments when we all curtsied and lengthened our révérence toward the glass doors. As they opened, the fresh air seeped in engulfing our faces. I felt the tension release as I unwrap the ribbon and smell the residue of hard work. The chant echoes in my mind, “I bled. I conquered. And I live to tell.”

            Before all the well-awaited steps were taken, I had to prepare. When the day of testing came, I was nervous yet a peace pulsed at just the right moments. A full year of studying terminology, steps, each placement, and what they meant for this moment. Each incidence, every loss, and gain, even the joy and sorrow are building blocks for what is ahead. As I walk through the glass doors to present myself, I pray that the peace stays but to my dismay, my nerves take over. I fought each jitter as if my life depended on it and proceeded to demonstrate her verbal instruction.  I look back now after countless more tests and auditions from judges from a little studio in Loveland, Colorado to huge conventions with “So You Think You Can Dance?” judges, and it all seems like a dream. The time I waited then that seemed to tick by as if for a lifetime was only like a minute passing. The character and responsibility I learned then, has shaped the person I am today. Those moments of uncertainty that come to pass, and the trials that turn into triumph, lead me on the path I am proud to be on right now. The ache of stretching, the pain of shouldering my legs then making them go beyond the splits to improve my physic. All of this gave me purpose to keep on pushing.

            How do all these experiences coincide with my life? If I did not learn to ignore my bodies plea to stop when it hurt, or give up when I ran out of breath or those moments when my face sweat tears as well as salt; how could I endure the trials ahead? I learned to hear my body, and speak to my body as a diligent commander. Before I ever put my pointe shoes on I would go through a kind of “ritual,” it consisted of rubbing through each tenant and muscle in my foot, starting at the top and ending with my toes then stretching it so that the blood would start to flow through my entire foot. The whole time I practice breathing in and out for five counts to steady my breathing, taking control of each muscle starting in my throat all the way to my core. In addition, I would close my eyes to feel each tender muscle as I crossed with my hands, and listen to my heart beat as I counted to five. Some may think this is odd, maybe even unnecessary but I can assure you that when I stopped and took the time to gather myself and prepare my body, mind, emotions, and spirit I would not suffer from an injury. Even before my body felt the impact of pointe, I was prepared to face any test and overcome it. I did not start at this place, knowing all these techniques off the bat; I started at the bottom strengthening myself to the top. Five years of extreme training and a few scars later and I am still not to the point of perfection, but closer than I was yesterday.

Life encompasses trials, and triumphs, heartache, and joy, devastation, and preservation. Whether I ever know for sure why I am where I am, the journey’s I have undergone through my work to achieve pointe, or the depth of maturity; I know I have lived to the fullest with both molding my life along the way. Falling is inevitable, getting up is the choice!