"God, I need to be honest with you"
she whispers out of desperation.
"How can you be honest with me
if you are not first honest with yourself"
His tender voice replies.
This was literally the moment of truth...
A moment that didn't take me long to jump at.
I poured my heart out to God, starting with my feelings.
I confessed the ones I knew and surprisingly the ones I was unaware of came out.
I repented of all my "hidden" (I kid myself to think that they were unseen by God)
motives, selfish acts, as well as my arrogant and prideful attitudes.
Then the next step wasn't exactly easy for me, for whatever reason...
"Lord, no matter how bad it hurts now" I began to pray.
"Or how bad it will hurt along the way." I trembled.
"I give you..."
At this moment I paused with such weariness pulsing through me.
I pushed through the pain and allowed myself to finish,
"... I give you control."
My heart is still hurting.
I can still feel the wounds deep inside.
But a heavy weight was lifted.
I know that my resolve this night will be a hard one to live out.
A choice I will want to waver from.
A decision I will want to compromise.
A stand I know will grow tiresome.
But all the more...
A commitment I will never regret!
